mathmomtician

Mom, we are not the same!

Wed, 03 Jun 2026 21:59:27 GMT

We are all fed differently!

Parents are often overheard saying, “My kids are like night and day.” My parents said it about me and my sister, and I say it about my sons. But I never imagined that maneuvering the personalities, interests, and goals of two children would require so much of my husband and I as parents.

Before my oldest son got to high school, my sons had already attended two different middle schools. Caleb went to the public school where my dad was an administrator. It had everything he needed – a strong academic program, a leaning toward the arts, and a good athletic program. Joshua went to the charter school where his dad was an administrator. He asked to go because he wanted to be with his dad. Given that we had been through a pandemic and two hurricanes and had been stuck out of town for almost a year without his dad being there every day, we figured the security and bonding time were a win. Caleb found a tribe of (what seems like it will be) forever friends, and Joshua was introduced to marching band in the 7th grade and never looked back. We were winning.

Then, high school happened.

Our Caleb is a perfectionist and busy body with academic, athletic, and artistic interests. Simply put, he has never fit into any specific category or group of people. He found his tribe in middle school because they are all alike. Athletic honor students who like art and fun. They don’t fit in anywhere but with each other, and we love that for them. They are a collective of uniqueness.

Our Joshua is an intellectual who feels absolutely no need to prove it at all. His grades are good because we demand it, but school is more of a hassle than something he enjoys. He’s athletic but doesn’t like sports. He’s smart and loves to learn but doesn’t really love school. But, to our surprise, he loves music. He’s our bandsman. He’s most alive when he plays. That’s his motivation and we’re all in with him.

When Caleb got to high school, my husband and I thought we had arrived. We chose a large school with a strong school culture that had everything that we wanted for both sons. This was going to be easy: two sons, sixteen months apart, two grades apart, riding to the same school in the morning both staying for different practices in the afternoon. Joshua was already able to be in the band there. I had it all thought out. The cute t-shirts, the family car rides to games and competitions, volunteering at one place…we were all in.

Well, they say, “Tell God your plans and watch him laugh.” And He clearly did. Caleb was miserable. The school was everything we wanted for him and not what he wanted or needed at all. He felt pressure to find his tribe for the first time in his life, and he thrives on being socially fluid. He will hang out with his boys and play basketball in the morning, go to lunch with a different group of friends, head to a book club meeting in the afternoon, go to work in the evening, have a late-night workout alone, and read a little bit to close his day out. He didn’t want to fit in. Finally, he sits us down during his freshman year and says to us, “My school is awesome. Just not for me. I really need something else.” And guess what, we didn’t listen. Which brings us to the first lesson I learned from our sons…

If you raised your children to be spiritually, mentally, and emotionally aware of their needs and surroundings, it’s ok to trust their judgement. Of course, I’m not saying to let your children make decisions completely on their own. But, we should’ve heard him out, prayed about it, and really investigated. Listen to your children to understand (and not to respond).

Fast forward to his sophomore year and all hell is breaking loose by September. The kid is not himself, and none of us like it. He was both acclimating and assimilating and having what seemed like success, but he wasn’t happy. There was no joy. Finally, as God often does when I’m being hardheaded, he sent a challenge of sorts to make us take a step back and reevaluate the situation. It was a very intense, emotional time for all of us. But a week later, Caleb was at a new school. And within a week after that, he was flourishing. I got my kid back.

Joshua, on the other hand, (while still in middle school) was still in the band at the school his brother left. It was good for him. He was coming out of his shell, finding new friends, enjoying music, and motivated to do well at school, in music, and throughout the other areas of his life. We were often asked whether we were going to let him go to that school, and we never wavered. The answer was, “Absolutely! Our sons have different needs, and just because something doesn’t work for one doesn’t mean it won’t work for the other.” Which brings me to the second lesson the boys taught me in this instance…

We are all fed differently. My sons were teaching me that, even though they came from the same gene pool, they are very different people with very different needs. Caleb thrives on social interaction. Joshua recharges by being alone. Caleb is fluid socially. He has a primary tribe and a lot of other groups that contribute to his well-being in different ways. For Joshua, it’s family, his BFF, and the band. And it took a good therapist and some hard lessons to make me understand that I had to put them in places and spaces that fed them the way they needed to be fed and not the way I wanted to feed them or in a way that was convenient for me. We understand that diabetic and hypoglycemic patients must have different diets for their bodies to perform optimally; but somehow, we don’t get it when it’s the educational, social, or emotional needs of our children.

The final lesson this situation taught me was that multiple things can be true at the same time . We say it often, but do we really embrace what it means? We live in a time where school choice is at the forefront of controversy surrounding educating children. Here’s the truth; no school is for every child, but there is an avenue through which every child can be educated . It can be true that a school can be a great school and not be good for every child. Similarly, a church can be a great church but not be good for everyone in a particular location. An employer can be a great place for one person to work and a terrible place for another. And it doesn’t make the place or the people associated with it bad.

Caleb needed the small, intimate private, Christian school setting in which every child was seen and celebrated for their likenesses and differences. He needed to be given a chance to just be different out loud – which is not customary of most places. He graduated with opportunities and accolades that he never would have experienced or earned in another environment, and his choices and goals are a product of that.

Joshua needs to be a part of the robust, culture-centered, demanding school with clear, uncompromising standards and expectations that he attends. It has forced him to step out of his comfort zone, find his place, and even walk into leadership roles while enjoying the mental, emotional, and spiritual growth that being a part of the band has fostered in him.

Both are great at what they are … as are all other educational institutions in our area.

Let me insert this as well. A school can be a failing school and the best thing for a particular child. And not every A or B school is good for every child.

This summer, seek God about what He wants for your children, and let Him direct you to it. We are forever grateful for what God has done for our two and the institutions that have helped shape them into what they are today.

Praying this blesses someone. As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

We're not free; we're recharging!

Tue, 02 Jun 2026 03:16:46 GMT

We're doing nothing on purpose...

We're on the charger!

School is out. For students, that means fun. For administrators, it’s peaceful planning time. (Yes, they work most of the summer.) But for committed classroom teachers, summer has a very different meaning. Yes, some of us do fun things like take vacations and go to brunch with friends, but it’s more than catching up on the things that we didn’t get to do during the school year; it’s a time when we get to recharge .

I could paint a picture of what we do day to day, but if you’re on social media you’ve heard it a million times. From early August to late May, we pour out . We pour out into our students and fellow teachers. And just when we’re empty, God sends a colleague or student or parent to pour into us. But it’s usually just enough to keep us going. Even during long breaks, we don’t get to fill up.

If you can imagine never filling up your car with gas or never charging you phone to 100%, that’s us for ten months of the year – toggling between 25% and 75% and doing our best to stay out of low battery mode.

We work in a field where we’re overworked and underpaid…and WE LOVE IT ! We complain about it, but most of us are called to it. We enjoy what we do, but we need to recharge. That’s what summers are for us. It’s a time to plug into our families and friends and social groups and churches to recharge. And if we plug in just right, we are mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually at 100% just before it’s time to go back and pour out again.

Soooooooo… let us recharge!

Many of the people in our lives perceive our summers to be free time. We get asked to do all the things people knew we weren’t available to do during the school year. Volunteer work, special projects, trips, social events, summer jobs … stuff just appears out of nowhere. There’s suddenly a new list of things that need our attention.

But we still aren’t available. We’re not bored or overcome with free time. We are on the charger. Please don’t pull us off the charger until we’re fully charged.

Yes, we want to be invited, but we want you to be understanding when we decline. We want our loved ones to be ok with us going into hiding for a little while – not texting back immediately or returning calls within a certain time frame. We aren’t getting paid to rest; we gave our employer permission to spread our pay for 10 months of work over 12 months. (Yep, we’re on levelized billing ;)

We want you to understand that we’re plugged in, and the cord is super short (like the really short 3-foot ones).

If this has opened your eyes just a little as to what teachers are experiencing during the summer, consider doing any or all of these things.

Send us an open invitation to lunch or brunch. No pressure to hurry and get it done, just whenever we can pull ourselves together and look and act like a grown up.
Send us a small treat . We love Teacher’s Appreciation Week, but I promise you that sending a teacher a movie theatre or coffee shop gift card via text or email in the summer for a single movie ticket or cup of coffee will make charging so much more pleasant (and it may even go a little faster).
Let us volunteer – don’t pressure us because we’re off. I know that we’ve been largely unavailable, but when things come up at church or in our community groups don’t ask us to help out because we “have nothing to do”. Doing nothing on purpose is actually doing something.
Offer to help . If you’re close to a teacher with small kids, offer to take the kids out for a day. If you know a teacher who is taking on one of those projects that they can’t do during the school year (cleaning the garage or their closet or reorganizing), offer to help and make it enjoyable. (Let them lead – let them choose the music or movie or method.)

I’m sure there are several other things that my fellow educators would love as well, so ask a teacher that you’re close to how you can help them recharge during the summer.

We love our work. We love your kids. We love our colleagues.

But please let us recharge!

They're Home, Now What?

Mon, 01 Jun 2026 05:36:26 GMT

They're Home, Now what?

Parents are watching on social media as teachers celebrate sending students home for summer. In August, teachers will watch as parents celebrate sending students back to school. We all get to have fun making cute videos and memes about passing on the responsibility to each other, but there is something else going on in the background and it’s keeping our teachers from maximizing class time and students from doing their best.

The first week of school is a relief for everyone - except the teacher. Parents finally get some semblance of normalcy back. Students get to see their friends again, show off their new shoes, and share their fun summer experiences.

But teachers have a much different experience. We go through several days of workshops and trainings to make sure that we are prepared to teach our students, keep them safe, and ensure that our classrooms are in compliance with the many rules that guide our profession. We spend countless hours of our own time decorating the perfect classroom, preparing welcome materials and letters to parents, and writing near perfect lessons. And then, we get ready to teach our first lesson and BAM…

“The Summer Slide” greets us during the very first minute of our first real content-centered lesson. The summer slide is the regressions that happens over the near 3-month period that the students aren’t in school. Simply put, you lose what you don’t use. Students forget some of what they learned the previous year, making it near impossible for teacher to pick up where they left off. Teachers spend anywhere from a week to a month fighting the summer slide. Worse, it forces them to either slow down or leave students behind to catch up on their own. It puts us in an impossible position.

So, how do we work together to prevent The Summer Slide (or at least lighten the blow)? We have to work together to do two things: (1) make students read and ( 2) keep them fluent in arithmetic and formulas.

Let’s tackle READING first…

Parents: Regardless of the age or stage or your child, make them read every day. It doesn’t have to be a long reading session; 20 to 30 minutes a day is plenty. If the child struggles a bit at first, break it into two 10- to 15-minute sessions.

For 3- to 5-year-olds, read to them until they can read to you. When they can read aloud, have them read to you and enjoy it (or at least pretend to). For kindergarten to 2nd grade students, alternate letting them read independently and having them read to you. For 3rd – 5th grade students, find chapter books that are age appropriate. Have them read every day and chat with you about the books. (Hint: Find the audio book and listen so that you can know if they’re really understanding the book. It’ll save you some time.)

Most importantly, have them explain to you what they read. Ask questions like:

What was your favorite part of the story?
Who was your favorite character? Why?
What are three things you remember from the story?
Would you want to read that story again? Why or why not?

It also doesn’t hurt to attach an incentive to it. A weekly gift card to the movies or their favorite restaurant can go a long way. Trust me, I know. (For my own two kiddos, it was a trip to Walmart to pick a new toy under $10.)

For middle and high school students, it becomes a lot more difficult unless they really enjoy reading. First, let them choose their own books – even if they seem too easy or below level at first. The goal is for them to read something (not on their phone or device). Feel free to offer them magazine or newspaper article options but print them if you can.

Because they may not want to talk about what they read, I recommend having them write it down or text it to you. (My own two had no problem sending me five or more sentences on what they read in a text.) Have them include page numbers in their note or message and randomly select times to go to pages and ask them questions. Give them a little something when they get them right, and don’t be too critical when they get it wrong. We don’t want to discourage them; we just want them to know that we’re monitoring their progress.

Churches & Community Organizations: Establish book clubs or have students read aloud in study groups of Bible study. To avoid them being embarrassed if they aren’t strong readers, ask them in advance and assign passages to review for a few days before classes or meetings. This way, they’ll experience some success reading and want to do more of it. Also, provide some sort of incentive to young people that are readers or volunteer to read during class. It's important that they know how important reading is to their village and that it is not just something their parents or teachers are forcing on them.

School Leaders & Administrators: In preparation for next summer, as you are planning your budgets and delegating to your staff, facilitate the development and distribution of summer reading lists and quizzes online. Teachers would love an opportunity to earn a little extra money to read books and develop quizzes for the summer. It can be easily done using Google Forms or Microsoft Forms. Questions can even be shuffled or randomized. Also, research the logistics of having a day biweekly when students can stop by and take AR quizzes during the summer. (Put a catalog online of books with quizzes so that students can check the books out from the public library instead of keeping the school library open.) Attach scores and points to incentives at the start of school: free dress passes, free game tickets, social media recognition, or even skipping the line at back-to-school registration are options that don’t cost the school much. Better yet, go big and give big incentives to students that have the most points and/or show the most improvement.

As for MATH fluency (NUMERACY), we’ll tackle that with Free Friday . I’ll share some free resources for all ages ;)

I’d love to hear your thoughts, ideas, and questions.